Two weeks before Thanksgiving 2009, I started experimenting with a raw diet for myself and Harrison with high hopes of reversing Harrison's diabetes. The first three days I was able to cut his insulin in half. I was so enthusiastic, I thought I was on to the "cure", besides, I loved the green smoothies, I felt clean, alive and connected to the earth. This was it, why doesn't everyone eat like this?
In my quest for knowledge and my desire to reverse Harrison's type 1 diabetes, I continued to study and try new ways of preparing food. I really enjoyed all the organic fresh foods, I enjoyed exploring stores from a fresh new perspective. Cleaning, dehydrating, soaking, sprouting, blending, processing...(btw, dehydrating is not cheap, I more than doubled by electricity bill in only 15 days.) In my mind so much preparation equated, love and devotion to my son, his health and well being but somewhere along the way my health took a turn for the worse. I became hypoglycemic, moody, perhaps even depressed, angry, exhausted, and overly stressed about every drop or morsel that entered our mouths. I was always too busy in the kitchen to play and making foods until midnight did not allow me time to sleep which is essential when one has to get up every two hours or so to check blood sugars.
One would think on this kind of diet you would loose weight oh, no...not me. One might loose weight if you aren't trying to satiate a hunger that permeates your soul. Night after night, hand full after hand full of raw, cleaned, soaked nuts,and/or seed, still I didn't feel nourished.
I read Dr. Gabriel Cousens book, Conscious Eating and tried harder...still I was packing on the weight and getting more angry. Angry because of the weight, because of the lack of sleep but mostly because I was working so hard and Harrison's blood sugars were back to where we had started and he still had diabetes.
Little by little I started cooking more and more. With this being coldest winter in years, cooked food felt and tasted so good. If I couldn't maintain raw, I was at least going to stick with a vegan diet. Then I discovered, every other day when Harrison is with his father he was eating meat. So the jokes on me and I give up...I surrender...and I take a good long look at myself in the mirror, realizing how completely depressed and exhausted I am. Realizing Harrison choose 'us' for the contrast we provide in his life and I can keep fighting this making everyone miserable or I can learn to help Harrison make the healthiest choices available to him when what he eats is not longer my decision.
Over the past two weeks I have added several foods back into our diet that have been long been missing,(at least when he's at my house)red potatoes, cooked acorn squash, organic vegi chips, and fish. Fresh, wild fish. Life has gotten so much easier. I'm still juicing every day...He loves our green juice first thing in the morning. The majority of our meals are still raw vegetable based. The belly fat is already melting away, I feel better, less stressed, no more depression and the hypoglycemia shows up when I'm hungry, occasionally. We both look forward to sitting down to our meals, Harrison isn't always pleading with me for food or standing the refrigerator. I feel more at peace being in this time space reality and having a personality that enjoys socializing, going out to dinner, and having a glass of wine, once in a while.
I am about to embark on yet another book at the complete opposite end of the spectrum, "Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human" by Richard Wrangham. Here's the link if you want to find out more. http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=evolving-bigger-brains-th&page=2
In Summary: This is what I have learned so far...
1. Clean your nuts, especially if you buy them out of bulk bins. They are filthy.
2. Juicing is AWESOME and green juice is wonderful at any time of the day.
3. Fasting is important for overall health.
4. I really enjoy cooked food, especially in the winter.
5. I really enjoy fresh fish, once in a while. (If you buy your fish from Publix or local chain grocer, do some research on "farm raised"...it's pretty disgusting. http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2003/05/10/farmed-salmon-part-one.aspx)
6. I desire ease in my life and this diet is anything but easy. It consumes my ever waking free moment and thoughts. Harrison will have to make his own decisions about food when he is a way from me, he chose an amazing contrast between myself and his father, a professionally trained chef.
7. Harrison has diabetes, living with it doesn't have to be a daily struggle with food. I want food to be an important enjoyable, component of Harrison's world, not his whole world.
8. Life is short...too short for all this worry about the future...could eating this make me sick, will eating that make me fat. My latest philosophy is, eat what is closest to nature. Pay attention to how it makes you feel, physically, emotionally, spiritually. (Like cow's milk?? Why do we drink another animals breast milk but turn away when we see a mother nursing her child or call it strange when the mother chooses to extend nursing until the baby is a toddler? Essentially if you choose to ingest dairy you are still nursing, drinking milk and eating cheese, ice cream, call it what you want, it's still breast milk but it's also comfort food.)
9. As a single mother who has very little time to herself, finding peace with this journey is a priority for both my well being and my son's.
10. Gluten, dairy, soy, all processed foods, all GMO foods, should be avoided.
11. Anything the governments says is 'safe' question, especially if your are giving it to your child.
12. Fat = toxicity...detox, exercise, fast
13. Sugar is bad for you!!!
14. You are not the only person affected by your choices regarding your health, be your own advocate and choose to honor you loved ones by choosing better.
15. Find time to sleep, to exercise, to laugh, to play, to be, and to be happy.
