Not Yet...

The past month has definitely been filled with introspection and contemplation, but I'm still working on acceptance.

A day in the life of my 3 year old angel.... We start most days with 8.5 units of insulin, two different kinds, which means two separate injections. Then breakfast, which consists of a green smoothy, cacao, spirulina, macca, flax oil, hemp seed milk, cocoa, chocolate stevia, blend until creamy and smooth. Believe it or not he loves it. Some days I make a crustless quiche, (kale, zucchini, onion, eggs) and call it an egg pizza, with nutritional yeast as "cheese". Again he loves it. However, with in a few hours of breakfast he is asking me for something "sweet with sugar in it" and this is where my negotiation skills need improving..."can I have an apple, or apple pie (larabar)please mommy". "No baby, lets wait and see where your sugar ends up? Maybe later". And then the tears and pleading begin with those beautiful blue eyes, I want to give him the world, anything his heart desires...it's heartbreaking. (An apple, seriously, will put his blood sugar well into the 300's even with the 8.5 units we start the day with.)

Lunch usually consists of a salad with half of an avocado, steamed brocolli, which he loves!!! and once again, the request for something sweet...same scenario. Usually by 3:30 or 4:00 his sugar is low enough and we have played enough I can give him half a larabar...17 grams of sugar for the whole bar but he can only have half, unless I give him more insulin.

Dinner, again is some vegetable assortment, raw & cooked, recently we have started adding fish. He loves sauteed onions and roasted cauliflower so we usually do something along those lines. However, the entire day, he is asking for something sweet.

Here is my dilemma, how can I make life less about the importance of every morsel of food he puts into his mouth and more about experiencing the sweetness it has to offer on all levels. How do I do this and keep him as healthy as possible. Food takes up so much time and energy, it consumes most of my waking thoughts, especially trying to do anything raw. Having read Dr. Gabriel Cousens book Conscious Eating I can't just ignore what I have learned. It's hard not to be concerned about every piece of food that enters his body.

***Side note, diabetes is a the 5th deadliest disease in the USA because it causes so many other disease within the body. Heart disease, (my father died of and my mother is living with) and Kidney disease, just to name two of the big one...the list is long. Sugar is BAD news for everyone especially those whose body's can not convert it properly.***

And then there is the "dad factor". Harrison's father is the most amazing chef I have ever had the pleasure of dining with, and now that I have conceded to not being able to reverse Harrison's diabetes with diet, when Harrison is with his dad all sorts of new things are being introduced that I have no control over...

Which leads me to another area of introspection for another day...control. For now, and with each passing day, I picture life getting easier, more joyful, more relaxed. Today I have seriously started considering the possibility of an insulin pump and what that could mean for Harrison and his father and I.

Hopefully acceptance and BALANCE is on the horizon.